everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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