You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize