covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
