then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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