there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
