haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
