I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
