but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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