4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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