i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
