just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
