I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize