So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
