I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she pinky promised me she was 18
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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