U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
