Kareoke will never be a sober sport
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
