After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
