It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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