the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
