Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
