So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
