You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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