Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
