I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
