Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
