seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
