can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
