A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
