I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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