This is not my ceiling
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
