i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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