I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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