i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
