Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize