So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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