We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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