who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
