Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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