I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
