I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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