was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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