Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize