i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
