You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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