and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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