Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
