I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize