apparently the secret to your success is patron
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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