she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
