I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
