So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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