I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I smell stomach acid.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
