You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
