So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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