my sisters under your porch take her home
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Who died my cat blue again?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize