Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
