Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
