Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
