Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
