At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
