I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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