JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
