there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
