giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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