you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
