New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize