I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
