That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
