Is it normal to miss your booty call?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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