i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
