in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
