Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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