I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
