My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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